Brave Reality
by evergrnterrace
Summary: Hitsugaya/Aizen It's awful.


Make-up Bleach Flashfic for aviss

_**Make-up Bleach Flashfic for **____**aviss**_  
**Title: **Brave Reality  
**Author: **Sam aka **evergrnterrace**  
**Requester:** **aviss**  
**Character:** Hitsugaya/Aizen, hints of Gin/Matsumoto?  
**Word Count:** a lot. 1067  
**Spoilers: **Up to Hueco Mundo...  
**Rating: **Ummm... T?  
**Author's Note:** I doubt this is what you had in mind, but it's all I've got.. I spent a LONG time on you and ended up trashing quite a few sad attempts.. Definitly never going to try Hitsugaya again, lol.. He HATES me! (Obviously, I've never written him, or two of the other character before...) Ahem.. Enjoy!! I do hope you like it.

He had never experienced this many emotions at once before. Not in either of his lives, the before or the after. The impact of the betrayal ringing loud in his mind, echoing off the walls of his office, taking over everyone that used to reside in this place called Serietie. Hinamori, who had been his anchor, his best friend, his _sister_, was now locked up in the fourth division. Her mind gone aflutter, her heart shattered in so many directions that he had no hope of ever finding all of the pieces. Matsumoto, his loyal vice-captain, his faithful comrade, his trusted confidante, was crumbling. She could still walk through the days, smile plastered to her face in a way that reminded people of the owner of her scars; but at night, she couldn't out run the insanity. She would gather with Hisagi and Kira in an effort to silence her agony in the misery of her fellow wounded, drinking until she couldn't even remember her name and staying anywhere but her own quarters.

And then, there was the one that hurt the most. The one person who knew he wasn't a child, who knew he had rightfully earned his place as captain of the tenth, the one person who knew _him_, had left. No goodbye, no warning. First he had died, crushing anyone who had loved him. And what did it say about Toushiro that he _knew_? He knew and he never told a soul, he never betrayed Sousuke or his plans. He had seen the wolf in sheep's clothing and he had kept it buried. Did Aizen even know that? Did he know that not everyone had fallen under his spell? That some had known all along and accepted him as a wolf from the very beginning?

What was he supposed to do now? How was he expected to keep choosing sides? Hinamori, with Aizen's blade thrust through her, protruding from her back and speaking all of the words that Aizen wouldn't. The initial thrust; _'It never meant a thing to me.'_ The lingering hand; _'I never planned to let you in.'_ Withdrawing his blade; _'This is the end without beginning.'_

What would Aizen do in this position… Fake it. Pretend everything is fine, as fine as it can be anyway. Go through the monotonous, now meaningless motions, pat the good pawns on the head for a job well done. Follow through the motions. That's all there was now. No more lingering looks, no more balancing on a tight-rope of loyalty.

Forever doomed to run from the memories and hide from the shadows like Matsumoto? Forever trapped in an empty shell that is on auto-pilot, waiting for the impossible, praying for the inevitable demise like Hinamori? Stuck questioning his existence because his sole purpose of life had gone against his own morals like Hisagi? Or doomed, like Kira, to have the knowledge of knowing everything before-hand and not doing anything, only to b e left behind without even a choice? Maybe a little of all of them, he thinks. It seems only fair. It wasn't mere loyalty that kept him silent, like Kira. And it wasn't a childhood bond turned romance like Matsumoto or a respectful, revered and adoring admiration like Hinamori. It surely wasn't common ground and shared ideals that held them bound. It was something much deeper, much more carnal. It was understanding, longing, needing, _knowing_. But it was so much more.

Aizen had crossed the line with Hinamori. He had crossed the line when he labeled Toushiro an 'enemy'. He was over dramatic. He was pompous. He was cruel. And even knowing all of this, seeing it first hand, _living_ through it, Toushiro still forgave him. He still loved him, missed him, longed for him. He wondered what would happen if he went to Hueco Mundo. Would Aizen kill him? Would he have him killed? Was there even a possibility that Aizen would allow him to stay? He had no idea. Would Matsumoto come with him? Of that he had no doubt. But he wasn't sure what her reason would be. To stay that ever loyal vice captain, to take revenge on Gin, to be with Gin. He wasn't sure which, if only one, would be correct. Still, it seemed worth a try.

Hitsugaya stood from his desk, having finished his paperwork for the day and having made a decision. He would find Matsumoto and relay his plan. Give her the option of joining him, and then he would leave. He would go to this Hueco Mundo and he would find Aizen.

Matsumoto had, of course, agreed to go. She hadn't told him what her reasons were, but when he saw the loon in her eyes he knew. She was going for Gin. Not for revenge, but to be with him. He supposed it didn't much matter, either way. He finished everything he'd set out to do, had Matsumoto do the same, and planned on leaving shortly after night fall.

As soon as Hitsugaya and Matsumoto landed in Hueco Mundo, he froze. He could feel him so strongly, such a familiar reiatsu, even if it had been too long. He headed in the direction of Aizen, only barely registering that he had no interference. No fear, no worry, his only concern was to find that bastard. Find out _why_ he hadn't even been given a chance. Why he hadn't been given a choice at all. Toushiro suddenly spun around, taking Matsumoto off guard, as he felt a familiar presence.

"You weren't given a choice because there wasn't a choice.' Aizen answered his unspoken question. "I knew you wouldn't follow me here, even knowing what you did, so I didn't ask you to." Aizen was walking over to the shocked tenth division captain now. "The scowl doesn't even suit you, Shiro-chan." he continued.

"You have no idea." He whispered. Aizen looked thoughtful for a moment and nodded. "I suppose I miscalculated. You're here now, anyway." And he nodded once to Gin, who seemed to get the message. "Gin will show you both to your quarters."

After everything had calmed a bit and the new arrivals were situated, Gin returned to Aizen's chamber and sat on the floor a few feet from him. "Ya missed 'im." Gin stated, nodding in no particular direction. Aizen merely tilted his chin in his hand and replied, "I wonder."


End file.
